This morning, I checked my library account on line and I had a 14.50 fine. Yikes. So, I paid it. In full. Usually, I always just pay a portion of my fines, but since I had a bit of cashage I thought ‘why not pay it all?’ Note how I say “fines.” As in, plural. Yes, I whole heartedly admit that I am a fine accumulator at the library. I know I am not alone, so don’t judge.
But, see, not only do I accumulate fines, I lost my library card. It just so happens that I memorized the number before I lost it. And to avoid paying the replacement cost, I have been typing in the number at the express check out. For, um, about a year.
At the beginning of 2010, they changed the express check out so that you can’t type in the number, you have to have a card. So, faced with the fact that I lost my card, I have to go to the check out counter and go face to face with the meanie librarians (sorry if that offends anyone, but seriously! c’mon library people! Just because you’re smart and you found the most perfect job for you doesn’t mean you have to be all hoity toity about it. we get it, you read. a lot. woopty friggin do, so do I.)
Unfortunately, the last time I went to the library I also didn’t have my ID. Okay, confession time: yes, I would lose my head if it weren’t screwed on. So, the librarian had to find me manually in the computer. Unfortunately, he found an account I had about a decade ago. In which I owe 25 dollars for a lost cd. I said I wasn’t paying it, as I have this other account now. He said they’ll find me somehow.
So, really, that’s why I paid my fine in full this morning. I had a plan. Pay fine, get new library card. And don’t worry. BUT when I went to check out this morning, it was a apparent that the last librarian had written a message in my account stating the other account and its fine of 25.00. Damn.
This librarian told me my account would be on hold then. I could get a library card, but I wouldn’t be able to use it. They told me to pay the 25.00 fine and I would restore my privileges. I said, “it’s a matter of principle. I have no problem paying fines, obviously! But that was almost a decade ago.” And seriously, it should go on record that I basically pay their salaries. They should have given me a break, right?
My dh said I’m just mad because I got busted. Confession: the cd was not lost. But I didn’t steal it, or I didn’t have any intentions to. I’m so ashamed, but it was the Rolling Stones. And I had it for a long time. It could have been lost for a while. And by the time I was to return it, the fine was over the cost of replacement. So, I was going to pay for it, I swear. I really do! See, I moved to the suburbs and at the time they had a different library card system. I didn’t realize that until they found me last month, because when I went to the library to check out about a decade ago, I had asked them if I had a fine (i.e. replacement cost). They told me no!!!!!!!!!! They said no. So, see, it isn’t my fault!!! See how now it’s a matter of principle? I thought the fine was gone. And it was. Until they merged library card systems.
So, great. Me, the biggest fan of the library (Don’t they realize I love the library?) – argh, I was so irked. All that effort looking up books and movies. And then having to leave them at the counter. I looked those meanie librarians in the eye and said, “I wish I didn’t pay my fine this morning. I am going to the thrift store to buy books!!!” And I turned, flipped my hair, and stomped outta there.
Looking back, I see I was wrong. I’m so embarrassed. My dh said he was going to pay my fine, that I’m being ridiculous. I just thought the fine had disappeared. Why was I so naive to think that? I do owe the library and I should rightfully pay them. But in the heat of the moment, I was mad. And so I went shopping.
Lo and behold, you’ll never believe it!! They were having a sale at goodwill. On books, nonetheless. All for 15 cents each. FIFTEEN CENTS EACH!!!! I thought it was the book fine karma shining down on me. In the end, I didn’t get very many books, BUT I did get the Singer Sewing Book that I had eyed last week when it was 6.99!!! For fifteen cents. yipeeee.
I also got a dress for dd, a hello kitty blanket, and some fabric. For less than what my library fine was. UGH!
THEN, when I got home, I had a magazine waiting for me in the mail. I thought the reading karma was shining down on me. I thought, ‘who needs the library when I’ve got smut?’
Am I bad?
Watch this video for some humor.