Momma don’t like crazies

The other day I was at the bus stop and this Ukranian lady I’d never seen before came running out of her house with a business card and zeroed in on me.  “Take my card.  I babysit for you.  I cheap.  I have 7 kids.  I like your kids.  I good babysitter.”  So, I took her card and replied, “okay, maybe I’ll call you when I’m in a pinch.”   But, um, yeah right.  The weird thing is that she didn’t give any of the other parents at the bus stop her card.  What’s up?  I was telling my friend about it and she said, “It seems crazy people are drawn to you and your kids.  Remember when that German lady was standing outside your house saying she wanted to eat your kids?”  Oh yeah, I DO remember.  I live in a pretty normal neighborhood, I think I am a pretty normal person, but there’s just something about me that lures the crazies.  Just yesterday, there was this Asian couple at my door, asking me if I wanted to buy egg rolls out of the back of their car.  Who does that?  And when I inquired to my other neighbors if they too had been asked about egg rolls, everyone looked at ME like I was the one that was crazy.  I am NOT making this up!!  Then, today, I was at the library and this African dude was stalking me.  He followed me out to my car and when I told him to back off, he said he just wanted to know if I was “independent.”  Um, yeah I am.  But then I quickly realized he meant was I single, so I said “I’m independent, but I am also married.”  He said okay thanks, and walked away.  What the heck?  Do I have a big sign on my forehead that says crazies: approach me, I like it?

 

don't mess with me

don't mess with me

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